Argentine tango for me is a vehicle in which to express my passion for being alive. Three minutes connected with another human being; so quiet inside myself, listening with my entire being. I can feel that other person breathing. What will come next? Will it be a sharp quick movement, or long, smooth, drawn-out steps? Maybe it will be no movement at all. Ultimately our energies begin to blend into one—moving cooperatively and seamlessly. Each and every step is a complete and luxurious movement in itself. A whole lifetime can pass in that moment; everything else can disappear, only to move into the infinite possibilities of the next step. Step-by-step, it is a conversation unlike any other. From the outside, one cannot appreciate what is happening. To truly appreciate it, one must be inside of the dance, feel the connection, the music, the pulsing and flowing of the dance internally, the profound stillness within.

I have always been a dancer, doing gymnastics and an eclectic mix of dance disciplines. Later in life, I discovered Argentine tango at a dance weekend. That very first class I partnered with a young man who already had a little experience. I was delighted! I thought to myself, “This is my dance.” In order to progress and become proficient in this dance, it is crucial to study, practice, have patience and tolerance both for oneself and for one’s partners. For me, this at first meant traveling to established tango communities in the region to study with visiting instructors. Now, progress means traveling to Argentina, to tango festivals, and dancing with experienced dancers who have also studied, and constantly strived for a higher level of dance. It is not a competition, but a social dance. The idea is to connect more deeply, yet more subtley.

THE INVITATION AND UNSPOKEN CONTRACT
Traditionally, the cabeceo (eye contact and head nod agreement) is used to ask a partner to dance. The ladies sit along the perimeter of the dance floor and try to catch the eye of the gent they wish to dance with, hoping to get that special nod of the head and raising of the eyebrows that says, “Want to dance?” But be patient ladies, that “look” may be going to the lady sitting beside or behind you! Stay seated until the gent respectfully walks over to where you are seated, and offers a hand. Then you get up to dance with him. When two are finished dancing, the gent respectfully walks the lady to where she was sitting, says thank you and goodbye. While the traditional cabeceo is alive and well today in Buenos Aires, we live in North America, and as such our customs must adapt. Depending on the community in which you are dancing, there are as many variations to the etiquette as there are personal styles of tango. Here in the United States, it is often perfectly acceptable for a lady to ask a gent to dance! Argentineans are very proud, passionate people. The cabeceo and etiquette are very respectful, have purpose, and are an integral part of the history of the dance, but it only works if everyone does it!

From the moment the couple come together into a frame, the leader is responsible for the follower’s safety. He watches the floor to see when it is safe to move, he holds the follower comfortably, but securely, so if need be he can “tell” her (with his energy) not to move. The follower “agrees” to trust her partner to take care of her. She is blind to where she will be moving. We enter into this agreement each and every time we connect to dance. Without the trust and safety, the connection is doomed, and the dance can never really begin.

THERE IS A NON-VERBAL CONVERSATION WITHIN THE DANCE
Every person has a different “voice.” It takes time to adapt to each new partner, and the way in which the music is arranged accommodates this nuance. At a milonga (the social dance party) the music is set up in tandas (groups of three or four songs from the same genre, often the same orchestra). It is proper etiquette to dance all of a tanda with the same partner. This allows each couple time to get comfortable. By the third song, the connection becomes more refined, and the dance more enjoyable. In between the tandas are the cortinas (short thirty-second clips of music that sharply contrast with what was just played). This is the time to change partners. This way, everyone is looking for a new partner at the same time. It is also expected that if you arrive with a partner, you will dance the first and last tanda with that partner, unless other arrangements are made.

ARGENTINE TANGO CAN TAKE MANY FORMS.
The “traditional” style is a close embrace. Couples stand with their upper bodies together, arms holding the other closely with a forward intention, which allows for the movement of the lower bodies. Historically and even today, the social dance floors in Buenos Aires have very little room to dance. The couple dances each step for themselves, intimately, while the leader gently navigates, step-by-step. Essentially you are dancing with your partner, the music, and everyone else on the floor. There is a line of dance, and your movement is based on what space is open in front of you. The “nuevo” style came out of the tango shows. From the far rows in the back of a performance hall, one cannot see the small and intimate movements of the social dance in close embrace. The frame opened up, which made more room for the leg movements, the flashy kicks and large open turns. The focus of the dance became more external, although the connection of the partners is still very necessary, as it is the foundation of the dance. This open/nuevo style is easier for the beginner to learn, because there is more space for movement, and more leeway for each step. In close embrace, with the movements being very small, and the impulses subtle, it is more challenging for most people. The idea of being so close to another person may also be intimidating at first. Musically, traditional Argentine tango is quite unique. With the instruments carrying different threads of the melody and rhythm throughout the song, it’s complicated. Much of the music has a dramatic, solemn, and soulful feeling. Often the stories told in lyrics are of struggle, passion, and lost love. There is an expression, “You must have suffered in life to dance the tango,” and I believe this relates to the depth of emotion one can experience in the dance.

It took me five years to get my husband to dance the tango with me. He did not have a dance background and was hesitant to give up his other activities that he was passionate about in order to make time and space for the dance. So, I danced alone for the beginning years, learning to lead as well as follow. There are usually more women than men in any given social dance setting, so leading was fun, and I never had to sit out! Then I met a man who had significant tango experience. He was studying intensively as well, and was looking for a dance partner with whom to teach and study. I finally had the chance to really work my dance, and to push the growth curve. This partnership, of course, was quite challenging to my primary relationship with my husband. Initially it was difficult, but my husband finally got on board! He learned to dance with the help of my partner and me, and many other teachers as well. Today, my husband is as passionate as I am about the dance and is the driving force for our continued study and travels. It is so much easier together and is such a wonderful thing to share as a couple. Again, for those three minutes, everything else can disappear. It doesn’t happen right away, or with every dance, but the times when that magic does happen and we find that “sweet spot” together make it all worthwhile and then some!

ARGENTINE TANGO AS A METAPHOR FOR LIFE
Take the time to connect with your partner, and feel them in your arms. Pay attention to when they are “centered,” as well as when they are “off axis.” Listen to the music, move within the music, invite your partner, and then pay attention to their answer, every single step! Move one step at a time, while enjoying the process of each step along the way. If you become disconnected, stop, reconnect, and only then continue the dance. Pause often to enjoy the stillness and intimacy of the moment. Breathe! You can invite your partner to step in a certain direction, but you can’t force it. Watch to see where they step, and adjust your moves accordingly. In its highest evolution, I believe it is a cooperative effort, with each having an equal voice. Both are heard, even in the different roles that we have. Both are respected and appreciated. Sounds like a pretty good life philosophy to me!

Karen Jaffe discovered Argentine tango in 1997, and has been dancing socially and studying ever since. For more information, visit www.tangoasheville.com or check out her Yahoo group, "tangogypsies."

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